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Used with permission.  (c) Brad Lawryk

Subject: Big Green Rider fans to witness Argos crushing of Riders.

From: Argonut <73441.2355@CompuServe.COM>

Date: 1996/07/23


Bubba and Skeeter are going to the big game in Regina this week when the Big City pays a visit.

S: "Hey Bubba."

B: "What's up Skeeter?"

S: "We is a goin' to the beeeg city to watch the Greenies play the big Argos."

B: " Ya betcha life we isa goin' to see it live."

S: " So let's load up the pickup and git a move on."

So Bubba and Skeeter were off to the game. They were driving down the Trans Canada highway that leads right to Regina.

B: " Hey Skeeter, here comes the big hill."

S: " I see it too. I can't wait to go on the downhill side."

B: " Here we gooo!!!"

B & S: " Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

B: " Wow Skeeter!"

S: " Oooh, that was faaantastic."

B: " Whew, I bet that hill is more than the 6 inches in height that it says in the travel brochures."

S: " I agree with ya there Bubba. It's gotta be 8 maybe even 10 inches high."

B: " Ha Skeeter. Let's not get carried away."

So as they caught their breath after such a hair raising event, they finished their trip to Regina and got to Taylor Field.

S: " Wow, this place is a huge."

B: " Ya, this is a somethin."

They bought their tickets and got great seats on the 55 yard line.

B: " Look Skeeter, That's The Flutie. Ain't it?"

S: " Good golly, it really is."

B: " It can't be. He ain't red!"

S: " I heard from Skippy that the great Flutie was cast out of Calgary and he's now in Heaven." (Skippy is the world

      famous artist in the Prairies that makes sculptures out of Cow Pucks)

B: " He ain't in a Heaven. He's in a Toronto now, you duffous."

S: " Hey, from what I hear. Toronto 'is' Heaven."

B: " Yup, you is has got a point there."

The game begins and as expected, the Argos jugernaut starts to roll over the hapless Green Riders.

B: " Wow, The Flutie is tearing our defence apart."

S: " Well why not? Our defence is just pairs of pants running around."

B: " What!!?"

S: " Look, there is just pants out there."

B: " You dummy. The Greenies have Green tops. That's why you you only see their pants. They have tops that

        blend in with the colour of the field."

S: " Too bad. They would have an excuse if it was only pants out there."

The game continues with Flutie passing up a storm. Tyrone Williams is on a rampage. Pinball racks up the big yardages. Jimmy the Jet runs back a kick for a Td. Robert Drummond has another great day. Tim Cofield and friends spend all their time in the Green Rider backfield. Warren Jones goes SPLAT!

It's 35 - 7 early in the 3rd quarter and our buddies Bubba and Skeeter are enjoying an old Green Rider fan tradition.

B: " Pass the brewskie, Skeeter."

S: " Sure thing pally boy."

B: " The best thing about watching the Riders is belting down the six-packs."

S: " Uh huh, I've belted back 17 six-packs already."

S: " Hey Bubb's, did you know the The Flutie was also a big beer fan while he played for the Stumps?"

B: " Nope, I never knew that one."

S: " Yep, he ran the six-pack offence."

B: " Har, Har, har de har."

S: " Hey Bubb's, why is the beer so cheap here in Saskatoon?"

B: " We're in Regina bonehead."

S: " Ooof, that's right! Saskatoon has two silos while Regina has two silos and a seven-eleven."

B: " Wrong duffous. The seven-eleven was closed. They just built another silo."

S: " So why's the beer cheap?"

B: " It's cause the Riders were expected to lose to the Argos by such a large score, they wanted all of us to

       be in comas. That way we'd all forget how bad the Greenies played."

S: " Hah, we gotum there Bubba. We is in a coma all the time."

As the game was winding down, with the Argos leading 57-7, Bubba and Skeeter made a remarkable discovery.

S: " Hey Bubba, take a look at the field."

B: " What about it?"

S: " The field has a curve."

B: " That's for the rain to run off."

S: " Ok, that may be true. But there is somthin else."

B: " What?"

S: " That curve's gotta be the tallest hill in Saskatchewan!"

B: " My God, you is right! That's way higher than the big hill on the Freeway."

The game is over. Argos have crushed the Green Riders by a score of 64 - 8. Fans are filing out of the ballpark and it's time to go home to the farm. (Farms are a 1 minute walk from Taylor Field in any direction)

B: " Well, them Argos really whipped the Greenies today."

S: " Yep, they had The Flutie."

B: " Uh huh, the Flutie was too much for us."

S: " Well Bubb's, it's off to the Motel."

B: " The Motel?"

S: " Sure, I'm no dummy. I ain't gonna drink and drive."

B: " You are a wise man Skeeter."