Last we left our dynamic Prairie Duo...they had just arrived nowhere...AKA Winnipeg. But, why would they stay there???
B: " We are still nowhere."
S: " Ha! There is a sign that is glowing a bright warm colour...and there are a lot of folks walking towards it
with big smiles."
B: " Let's go and see."
As Bubba and Skeeter approach the sign...a smile leeps onto their faces. The sign says:
' This way out of Winnipeg '
They walk towards the sign and touch it as all those ahead of them had done. Then...in a flash...they find themselves sitting in their truck and approaching Ontario.
B: "We are going to God's Country now."
The hours pass slowly as the boys go up and down the large hilly roads of the Trans Canada highway that lies north of the mammoth Lake Superior. They follow the Trans Canada through the most beautiful countryside in all of Canada. The marvel at the splendor that is Sudbury. Then they make a little side stop in gorgeous Parry Sound.
B: " This is the home of Bobby Orr."
S: " Well, it ain't football...but he's a God like guy."
B: " Hail Bobby."
They are back on their way south. They follow the beautiful highway 400 south from Barrie, Ontario as they head towards the Celestial Center of all that is Pure....Toronto itself.
As they do the final approach...they are in awe. Dotted along the distant skyline are beautiful structures of concrete...that reach up to the Heaven's as if they already know that God is right there. There is that wondrous...sweet smelling...mist that envelopes the majestic city in a warm embrace. There is the hustle and bustle of the big metropolis...which still manages the fine balance of community spirit as patrons slow down on these massive highways...just to say "Hi" to each other....and exchange ideas.
But... just off to the right of their view... lies the dark place.
S: " Bubba?? Why are you turning to go to that horrible dark place and leave this wondrous place?"
B: " I've gotta see it....it's famous."
S: " Oh....poop on it."
B: " No comment."
So Bubba leads them on a dark detour down the 400 series highway that isn't named after a number. It is a road that leads to dispair and horror...but....it also leads away from that dark place as well.
B: " We are there."
S: " Who farted?"
B: " That's just the aroma of this dungy little town."
S: " Wheeeuuuu." (Holding his nose) " This is worse than our Regina Founding Father's Pig Roast and Cow
Puck Throwing Jamboree."
B: " We can tough it out....there it is!"
S: " EGADS! That is huge!"
B: " They call it the Hamilton Mountain."
S: " That's way bigger than them little pebbles out west."
B: " Now we have seen it...let's get outta here before some of those mangy Stinktown PussyCats fans find us.
They hate people with twice the IQ's that they have."
S: " My IQ is 47."
B: " Good God! You are triple a Cats fan! We are outta here!"
The Boys jump back in their trucks...taking off their environment suits...and barrel down the QEW back to the glow that is Toronto and away from the hideous darkness that is Hamilton.
As they enter Toronto...their spirits rise. They are happy again to be in the bosom of prosperity.
S: " This is a big time money town....In Regina, the 7-11 is the biggest business in town. Um...next to Battlin'
Bob's House of Wayward Farmgirls."
B: " Look....there is the palace."
The boys gaze onto the terrific Skydome....home of the Grey Cup Champs.
S: " This makes me feel alive again...like I came back to mamma's womb."
B: " That's it! No more TSN Friday Night Football! Watching that Marty York is making you into
a...a....Lotuslander. With all that Mommies womb stuff. Next you'll want to wear some clogs and eat
veggie-tofu-salad burgers...or something."
S: " Sorry...I whack myself with a wet beavers tail."
B: " Let's go look at the Dome."
The boys go to the Dome and pay homage to the football shrine that all of North America beckons.
S: " It's the Nut!"
Argonut: " Hi boys...going to Montreal?"
B: " Yep, we isa know that our team goes to Mountreeall to play that game cause they will."
Argonut: "What about those fans that say it's happening out west?"
S: "They isa deluted fools. Our Greenies finish better than 4-14 and they think itsa 1989 again.
Argonut: "Ya...I know they can be a bit lofty with their goals. It's not their fault that they have a team that
can..at best...be just a .500 team."
S: " They ain't no Vaunted Argos...isa they?"
Argonut: " Ha....no way...no how."
B: " But the Greenies did win a cup in 1989. You know why?"
Argonut: " That's easy."
B: " He he...it's because the game was in Toronto! And they wasa playin those ugly Ticats in the Celestial
Temple of Goodness."
S: " Ya...it was fate that the Greenies beat those pugs."
Argonut: "Well...just in case...you should hang out till you know for sure where you are going."
B&S: " YONGE STREET!"
Just like that...in a flash...the boys scooted off to the one and only Yonge Street. There they would kill time...beer...and their money until they knew for sure where the Greenies would play.
B&S: " Barkeep...we isa need some brews to quench ours thirsts and stuff before we isa go to Mountreeall."
Bartender: " You guys from Saskatchewan?"