B: Bubba S: Skeeter
* Due to prior concerns ... Bubba's and Skeeter's communication between themselves has been translated*
The chill had returned to the countryside. The Grand Country that is called Canada ... basks in the afterglow of yet another Toronto Argonaut Grey Cup Victory. Far away from the Center (that is Toronto) in a lonely little mobile home (common dwelling of Prairie folk) sit our good buddies Bubba and Skeeter. They are relaxing after their latest pop bottle run ... and are watching the NFL game on the tube.
B: " Lookie here. I found this football game on the TV."
S: " Looks kinda weird."
B: " It's something called the NFL ... I think that's where the Taggle-bumper was from that we met at Grey Cup."
S: " That's right. He's the dude that cashed that Toronto Mayor's check that we found."
B: " I think the NFL must be some old tape league or something?"
S: " Could be ... well ... look at the game we are watching now."
B: " Yup ... it looks like an old Edmonton vs Ottawa game."
S: " D'uh Bubb's ... it's Ottawa. Look at their uniforms ... it's those old red ones they used with the gold helmets
and that other team is definitely the Edmonton Eskimos."
B: " Yip ... I see that."
S: " And look at these halftime highlights! It's highlights of the Hamilton Ticats vs the Baltimore Stallions."
B: " Billy bee ... you are right Skeeter."
S: " And now they are talking about The Flutie ... that he's going to some place called Buffalo."
B: " Nah ... he's going to a bank there. They keep saying something about bills ... so I guess he has some to
S: " Probably right about that. Ooo ... the game is back on."
B: " Pretty boring stuff ... let's turn this stuff off."
The boys turn off the game and start to pass the time with an old prairie game called ... battle wobble. (You take two bottles and place them in a bathtub ... then you spin your bottle while it's standing up ... and then the two bottles eventually collide. Whichever bottle falls first is the loser. This prairie game is played everywhere in the rural communities of Saskatchewan ... in the urban areas the game has been replaced by video poker terminals.)
After a while the boys get to thinking ...
B: " I wonder what bills The Flutie has to pay?"
S: " I'd like to know too ... he makes all that dough from the Vaunted Argos ... I wonder what his bills would be?"
B: " I'd like to ask the guy."
S: " I heard that The Flutie is going to be at some big deal Yankee thing called the Super Flush."
B: " Bowl."
S: " Flush Super Bowl?"
B: " Just Super Bowl. It's the Yanks biggest event."
S: " Well ... I heard that Doug will be there playing some flag football on the beach out there and he'd be at the
B: " So let's go to the game!?"
S: " Coolies ... but where is it?"
B: " I can find out ... let's turn the game back on."
The boys turn the game back on and the game is in the fourth quarter.
S: " That commentator ... John Madman ... he's just gone on talking for twenty minutes about the grass stains on the
B: " That's the great Yank commentary ... they can make grass growing interesting if they have time to kill."
S: " There it is ... San Diego ... in two weeks."
B: " San Diego? Where the heck is San Diego?"
S: " Gotta be in the Yankee States ... but where?"
B: " There's only one way in Canada to find out how to get anywhere in the States."
S: " I'll get the phone."
The boys dial an old friend. This is the only fool-proof method of getting any information on the United States if you live in Canada.
B: " Phone's ringing."
( Ring )
Argonut: " Hello?"
B: " Hi Nut ... how's iz a things in a Toronto?"
Argonut: " Perfect as usual ... the Grey Cup is home for another year."
B: " We iz a wanna go to iz the Super Bowl and we iz need to find how iz to get to the San Diego?"
Argonut: "Well Bubba ... calling me in Toronto was smart. The way to get to San Diego is vey simple."
B: " We iz waitin fer the info."
Argonut: " You take the Trans Canada to Calgary and turn left ... you then keep going south until you hit
Los Angeles ... where you turn left again ... go straight down to San Diego."
B: " Great job Nut ... you iz da best ever."
Argonut: " Bye boys and have fun ... you better leave soon."
B: " Bye Nut."
They hang up the phone and make their final plans.
B: " We are going to San Diego ... we need Yankee bucks."
S: " Vlad's gone to the Ukraine on a trip ... let's just borrow some of his? He keeps making those late night trips
across the border all the time."
B: " Ok."
The boys slip into Vlad's pad and look under his mattress.
B: " How much do you think we need?"
S: " Well ... it's a long trip and we can't make any money with the squeegee ... like we did in Toronto."
B: " Ah ... I think we can get by with $20,000?"
S: " Sure ... we'll pay Vlad back later."
B: " Is the truck loaded?"
S: " Yipper Dipper ... still got all our stuff from Grey Cup."
B: " Leave a note for Vlad ... and we're off!"
The boys hop into the truck and take off towards the western sunset.