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Part Five:  Have a Labbatt's at Molson!!

The last we heard of the boys...they had been trying to buy tickets to the Saskatchewan/Montreal playoff game. They had  gone to The Big Owe to buy tickets...but were unable to do so. They then found out that the game was to be held at  McGill Stadium...downtown.

B: " Look Skeeter....there's McGill Stadium."

S: "'s a Molson it's a beer joint."

B&S: " Ticketman...we isa Greenies fans and we wanta tickets to watch the Greenies whup those Als."

Sales: " Umm....the game is against BC."

B&S: " BC!!!! How the dang did that happen."

Sales: " The Roughriders are playing in Calgary on Sunday."

B&S: " Oh...shoot my cow and name it Sally. This sucks."

Sales: " Would you like a seat to the game here...we got plenty?"

B: " Umm...can we see the joint first?"

Sales: " Sure thing. This way."

So the Salesman let Bubba and Skeeter have a look at the stadium while they decided to buy tickets.

B: " Hey...who's minding the ticket window?"

Sales: " Ah...I'll be back there soon. It's just me...but nobody comes by anyways."

S: " Nice job."

The enter the bowl of the Stadium...

B: " Hey...this turf ain't bad."

Sales: " Ya...we think it's good stuff."

S: " Ummm....what's that hole over there?"

Sales: " That's where the tree was growing. We took it out to uncover the seats."

B: " That was stupid."

Sales: "Why?"

B: " could have jammed at least 50 folks into the tree instead of saving 5 seats."

Sales: " Good has never been my strong suit."

S: " You isa expectin a big crowd."

Sales: "Oh yes. We expect a huge crowd of around 16,000. That will show Robert this thing will work."

(loud beeps go off )

Sales: " Can you guys excuse me for 5 minutes? I've got something I have to do right now."

So the Salesman takes off in a hurry and leaves the boys in the park to think.

B: " We gotta get to Calgary...that's where the Greenies are playing."

S: " Let's ditch this guy and head out. I'm tired of smoked meat."

The Salesman rushes back.....

Sales: " Sorry you want to buy seats?"

B: " Hey...nice suit dude."

Sales: " I had to do something else than sell tickets for a minute."

S: " How about these Als guys movin to Ottawa."

Sales: " NEVER! They must stay here...I can't get a job in Ottawa."

B&S: " it out there."

Sales: "Sorry...I just want Robert to stay here."

B&S: " Well...we isa leavin. We isa goin to Calgary."

Sales: " Oh damn. Well I tried...I always try...but noone understands."

B: " Bye dude."

Sales: " If you ever come back...just ask for Larry."

B: " Oh ya...that'll happen."

So the boys leave McGill and ponder their next move. They can't drive out to Calgary in 2 days...and they already clicked their heals which just landed them nowhere.

B: " The airport."

So the boys trekked down to the airport and were astonished to find the airfares were so expensive. But there was always an option.

B&S: " We isa wanta go to Calgary."

Tickets: " That'll be $750.00 each on 2nd rate Airlines."

B&S: " Wow! That'sa too much for us."

Tickets: " Well, you can get ot Toronto for $ 75.00 each on Golden Chariot Airlines...which is all 1st class."

B: " Why is it ten time more to fly to Calgary?"

Tickets: " Well....Golden Chariot Airlines only flies to Toronto...and the fairs are low because everyone

                important wants to go to Toronto. That's why it's all first class. Now...2nd rate Airlines flies to less

                interesting places that a lot less people want to go Calgary... Edmonton...Vancouver ...and

                the like. They offer 2nd rate service to 2nd rate   customers who want to go to 2nd rate cities...but

                the customers know the score."

S: " So we isa can go to Toronto and then fly to Calgary?"

Tickets: " That will cost you $75.00 from here and then another $500.00   from Toronto to Calgary on Golden


B&S: " We isa doin it."

So the lads are flying to Toronto...but they don't have enough money to make the trip to Calgary

B: " We just get a job for a couple of days...I know what to do."

The planes lands at the beautiful Toronto International Airport and the boys are again delighted to be in the glow of what is Toronto. But...they had to get to work. Bubba had a plan.

B: " Skeeter....go up onto the Gardiner Expressway and wait there for me by Yonge's be

       on the eastbound side."

Skeeter was off and Bubba had a stop to make at the store. He meets up with Skeeter at 7:10am.

S: " What's that?"

B: " It's called's a squeegee."

S: " What do we do with it?"

B: " We walk down this parking lot and ask people if they want their windshields cleaned for a loon."

S: " Who would pay for that?"

B: " See those really sooty cars?"

S: " Yup."

B: " They are from Hamilton...those drivers want their windows cleaned so they can see Toronto better."

S: " Wow...there's a lot of em."

B: " Yup...people form Hamilton work in Toronto....not at home."

So Bubba and Skeeter walked down the line and were making a lot of cash. They mostly made cash from Hamilton cars that came from the Toronto area already had clean windows. They used their wipers and washers to see the glowing Toronto skyline.

B: " Like a widow cleaning...dude?"

Driver: " Sure...thanks...isn't the CN Tower awesome?"

S: " Like a cleaned window sire?"

Driver 2: " No thanks...already clean. When did you move from Regina?"

On and on it went for about 45 minutes...when Bubba turned to Skeeter with a big smile.

B: " We got our cash...."

So the boys packed up and left for the Airport. The boarded a plane for Calgary and settled in for the ride.

The arrived in Calgary on Saturday and had plenty of time to buy their tickets for the game. So they went right to the  ticket booth.

B&S: " We isa want tickets."

Sales: " Ya...I know. Do you want to sit just anywhere? Or do you want to sit in the Green Riders fan section?"

B: " What's the difference?"

Sales: " If you want to sit just anywhere...with the rest of the folks here in Calgary....You have to wash before

            coming and leave all your farm animals at home. Now...we've set aside a special area for Rider fans that

            must have their pigs and goats with them. They sit right beside the special...'Horse' section of Calgary


S: " Pig section!! I want that!!!"

Sales: "The rule of thumb is...if you've lived in Calgary for at least two straight are civilized enough

            to join the rest of us. If not....just sit with the day visitors."

B: " We isa civilized! We takem those good seats."

Sales: " I thought you might. You look like fine examples of what the Province of Saskatchewan has to offer

            the world."

S: " We isa been to Toronto...three times!"

Sales: " Then you are blessed as well."

So the boys have their tickets and now they just have to wait for the game on Sunday. So the checked into an Econolodge and were just going to watch TV."

B: " What's on the tube?"

S: " Some Alberta political show."

B: " Oh...."

The boys dose off to sleep with the political shows theme music in the background..." I love love me....we are one big..."